A Game of Life and Death
by ABrokenHeartAllAlone
Summary: Subaru's life was turned upside down once when he was betrayed, but now it has been turned again. Lost in a new world, he must overcome all his weaknesses and fight to protect the only person he can hold onto. Life to him is more than a game. It still begs the question; why does it still feel so much like one? Gamer!Subaru. Rating may change as the story progresses. Enjoy.


"Aargh! I got slain," Subaru Natsuki yelled out in frustration as he dropped my head against the back of my chair. His eyes were bloodshot and strained, always staring at a dim monitor inside his dark room. He didn't know what time it was, what day it was, or even what month it was to the rest of the world. He locked himself inside his room so as to never see the outside world or the perpetual look of disappointment on his parent's face. The only thing he cared about was the punk-ass 12-year-old kid who beat him at League of Warcraft Online. It was the only place his life mattered and he was still being dominated.

He used to be a straight-A student throughout most of his high school life. He had crammed his exams and topped the National Exams and won an award from the mayor of his hometown. He was popular and his friends liked him. His parents would always brag about him and look at him with pride. He was the paragon of virtue to all his peers and teachers alike. As far as he remembers there wasn't a single thing wrong with his life: he volunteered at the local animal shelter, he took care of the little kids in the orphanage, he was the captain of his school's Kendo and Swimming Team, and he had the best girlfriend ever.

When he was sixteen he had asked out his crush right before the Christmas party. It was his last shot before the break and he wanted to accomplish his dream. Her name was Ayami Kato and she was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen. She was a head shorter than him and had green eyes—a rarity in japan—which sparkled like emeralds. She was about a head shorter than him, but always looked very mature. She had some vague idea of his feelings but not enough for her to do or say anything back to him. So when he had asked her to the winter formal she turned him down, but after a couple of repeated attempts, she agreed. That lead to a short but notorious relationship. They were the high school sweethearts and even their parents approved of his actions granted that they wouldn't interfere with his studies. Life was great until his foundations cracked. Until he was betrayed.

-Flashback-

"Men!" Subaru yelled out as he struck his opponent, Shinji Nakano, on the head after fainting a stomach cut. The bamboo shinai made a crackling sound as though he had let loose a hurricane in the gymnasium. His opponent caught off guard, was sent to the ground unconscious to the floor by the force of the blow. He laid there, sprawled on the tatami mat floor while the crowd cheered for their resident warrior who had once again claimed the national championship for Harabara Highschool.

The referee asked for a stretcher for the fallen athlete and held Subaru's hand in the air as he declared, "Winner of the match and the 2017 Championship is Subaru Natsuki!" The words rang in Subaru's ears. He had finally won! Countless hours spent training and preparing, all lead to the culmination of this moment. He was exhausted and all he wanted to do was the head back to his locker-room. The judges would hold the awards ceremony in a couple of hours anyway.

He headed back to his locker-room and decided to take a shower discarding his clothes and armor. He pulled his toiletries from his bag and hopped into a cool shower. He made sure to get the grease out of his hair as the soap suds rolled off his well-toned body. His abs and pecs glistened in the light of the lone bulb over his head. He stood at 5'10", well above the average Japanese male. He closed his eyes and let the rhythm of the shower fill his hearing. After a few minutes, he stepped out of his shower only to be greeted by his girlfriend.

She was wearing a red skirt and blouse. She stood next to his stuff waiting for him. He stepped out ready to kiss her but she stopped him. "You promised we would abstain until we were married," she said pointing to the fact that he only had a towel on him.

"That isn't what I was thinking! Anyway how did you get in the boys locker-room?" he asked.

"I have my ways; besides I came to get you since the awards ceremony is about to begin," she deflected. "You came so far and you can't ruin your moment by not showing up to the ceremony."

"I will be out in the next two minutes," Subaru cooed as Ayami walked through the doors telling him to hurry.

He packed his stuff after changing back into his school uniform. He realized all his stuff was scattered which was strange since he thought he left it clean before he went to his match. 'I must be losing my mind. I think I took too many hits to the head,' he thought as he walked out of the dimly lit hallway with his bag by his side.

He walked through the double doors that lead to the auditorium where he was greeted by a roaring crowd. He held up his hand, casually waving to the people in the crowd. He smiled as though he was a celebrity and played the part. As he got on the stage he walked to his podium trying to ignore the dirty looks he got from the judges. 'What? They won't even let me enjoy my victory,' he thought disappointedly as I readied my Microphone.

The head judge finally got up and came to me looking very emotionless and placed. He said to me, "There are allegations that you used performance enhancing drugs". Subaru made the mistake of leaving my microphone on and his words rang through the entire auditorium eliciting whispers and gossip.

"That isn't true, it's ridiculous. Who would even accuse me of such a thing?" Subaru said in my defense.

"An anonymous source said they saw you injecting a syringe in the locker-room thirty minutes before the match," he said. "These are merely allegations at the moment, but we need to investigate for any sign of wrongdoing."

"That's fine I guess. Do you need a blood or urine sample?" Subaru asked after he brought me to the judges table.

"No, most performance enhancing drugs would be undetectable at this stage. All we need to do is check your bag," he said pointing to my kendo duffle bag. "We already sent a team to check your locker-room and trash cans, we also are checking the CCTV footage for any places you would have been."

"Well, whatever you have to do can you make it snappy? I want to give my victory speech," the champion said annoyed.

"We will try our best to have this taken care of as quickly as possible," one of the panel members said. The looked through his bag for a couple of minutes unable to find anything out of the ordinary. They were about to give up until one of them saw a mini-pocket on the bottom left aside. It was used to store his mouth guard. They opened it up only to pull out a half-empty vial and a syringe. They read the label and looked at him with shame.

The head judge got up and went to the microphone and spoke, "We have confirmed that Subaru Natsuki has used an illicit substance, a Diuretic, to enhance his performance. It is a clear violation of our rules and as a consequence he forfeits his victory and scholarships to Mr. Nakano."

The entire audience went ballistic, they accused him of being a cheat and a disgrace. Subaru just stood there with his knees shaking. He had lost everything, there was no way he could prove his innocence. The mere possession of this substance was enough for him to be arrested in Japan and know he was accused of using it to cheat. He couldn't prove his innocence at all, he was a criminal and a cheat. His knees finally gave out and he dropped to the floor with his head staring at the wooden floor all while his friends and family berated him. He broke.

-Flashback End-

That was how the titan that was Subaru Natsuki fell: with his friends scorning him, with his family giving up on him, and with him falling to thunderous applause. He had no choice but to become a hikikomori, he spent his days locked in his rooms playing video games and never seeing the sun. He tried his best to exercise once in a while, but his body became weaker and frailer. He could never face his parents and they could never kick him out. It had been like this for almost the past two years. He hadn't had any meaningful conversations in that time. He was, by all means, dead. There was no way he could return to his life.

He stared up at the clock hanging above his door. It was about four in the morning and the sun hadn't risen yet. Subaru felt hungry and decided to make a supply run to the local convenience store.

He headed to the sink to freshen up a bit and changed into his tracksuit so at least he was a bit presentable. He wore his running pants and his favorite coat. It was old and had some tears on the seams but otherwise, it was the most comfortable articles of clothing he owned. He always found something new in his coat pockets. It often varied from candy wrappers to thousand yen bills.

He slowly opened the door careful not to wake his parents. The subtle creak of the door caught him off guards and he was sure he hadn't woken anyone up. He slowly tiptoed out of his room until he saw his father in the hallway.

His father was reading the International New York Times while drinking coffee. His back was turned to Subaru and the door was a straight shot. He gently made his way to the door and as he was about to turn the nob a voice called out, "If you are going out then don't bother coming back." Subaru turned to see his father motionless in the same position as before. He held his head down and left.

He was walking along the road to the convenience store when he was stopped by a girl. She was scantily clad and wearing high heels. She said in a sultry voice, "You look like a lonely man who has never had the touch of a woman. Luckily for you, I am free and very lonely. With a bit of cash, I might be persuaded to behave a bit naughtily." The darkness hid his face well enough but he was able to see the woman clearly. It wasn't her appearance that troubled him, it was her eyes. They were a pair of green sparkling eyes.

He ran. He closed his eyes and ran. Ran away from that place. He ran away from her just like that time

-Flashback-

Subaru was aimlessly walking down the street. He had been disgraced a couple days ago and all his friends had abandoned him, even Ayami was nowhere to be seen. His father yelled at him and kicked him out of the house. He turned the corner only to see two black silhouettes in the distance. It was far too dark to make out who they were but he heard one familiar voice, the voice of Ayami laughing. Subaru stopped in his tracks and focused on the voice again. It was definitely Ayami's laugh.

He shuffled forward to see what was happening. And heard a strange but familiar voice saying, "Here is your payment. It is all thanks to you that I was able to win the match."

'Wait! That's Shinji's voice! What was he talking about?' Subaru mentally wondered. He slowly walked a bit closer to see understand what was going on.

"It was really easy to slip that vial into his bag. He didn't suspect me at all when I was in the locker-room after the match. For all his talents, he is as dense as a doornail." Ayami said as she giggled. "Though I would like to know why the vial was half empty?" she said soon after.

"I used a temporary dosage so I could get the edge and still be undetected by blood tests afterward," he said as he leaned back against the building wall. "At the end of the day he did beat me, though, but this will teach him to mess with me."

"Whatever you say, as long as I get paid," Ayami said while counting her money. She had been paid a sizeable amount for her sabotage.

"There is another way for you to earn even more money," he said offhandedly. He brought out his wallet and took out a couple of thousand yen bills. It was far more than he should be carrying for shopping.

"What do you mean?" Ayami asked curiously. She had a vague Idea of what men like Shinji wanted and she was interested.

Shinji folded the bills and put them in her mouth and said "You know exactly what I mean, but to spell it out to you would be no fun. Let us just say that this fun will be a fun one." He then placed a hand on her cheeks and another one on her chest.

Subaru could only watch with a whole slew of emotions –from anger to sorrow –as the girl he thought he loved betrayed him. Silver tears slid down his face. As Shinji walked towards the local love hotel with Ayami in hand, Subaru could have sworn that he looked towards him with a malignant smile and a twinkle in his eyes.

-Flashback End-

Subaru stopped at the convenience store, it had been a long time since he had run over a few kilometers and he was panting. He concluded that the only reason he was able to even go this far was because of his panic attack after seeing Ayami. He waited a few minutes before going in, he didn't want to look so spooked in front of the cashier.

After calming himself down he entered the store. There were three aisles of shelves in the store with the las two being there exclusively for on the go food. Subaru knew that eating like this was unhealthy, but he couldn't exactly procure food in any other way. Occasionally his parents would leave meals or leftovers outside his room, but that far few and far between.

He settled for some instant noodles and random snacks. He checked to see if he had enough money and by his calculations, he had just one yen less and that was counting his taxes. He hoped that the manager wouldn't mind since it was only a Yen indifference. This would be his last meal since he would officially be out of all his money, his whole life savings gone by the age of nineteen.

He tried not to dwell on the fact he was going to die of starvation. He decided to find some way of surviving but first, he needed to get back home. He walked towards the register only to freeze as he saw who the cashier was. Urumino Gato was one of his old classmates from school. He was never fond of Subaru and even less so after the incident. Subaru hoped he had forgotten all about him and would simply shrug him off. Subaru kept his head down and proceeded to check out his items.

"It's pretty late to be buying snacks, dude," Subaru heard Urumino's voice as he scanned his items. He was most likely working here as a summer job in order to make a bit of spending money. He had gone on to attend a college something Subaru could never do. He kept his head down and stayed quiet. "Looks like your total is seven hundred and fifty-one yen," Urumino said as he bagged all of Subaru's food. Subaru handed over the money to the cashier and he went on his way. He quickly rushed out as soon as he got his bag. He heard a voice behind him. "You know the saying is true Natsuki. Cheaters never change," Subaru didn't even look back, he just ran outside.

He closed his eyes hoping to escape this constant nightmare he had called his life. He wanted nothing more than to quit, one way or another he would quit this hellhole. He clenched his eyes shut as the sun started to rise above his head. He ran even faster until his heart couldn't take it anymore. He stopped and opened his eyes.

He immediately recoiled at what he saw. He was in the square of a medieval city, the sun high in the sky as busy merchants rode across the streets in carriages driven by multi-colored horses. 'Those aren't horses,' Subaru said. He took a closer look and realized that they were, in fact, dragons. He took a step back in denial, 'This has to be a dream, it's too lucid for it not to be one.' He sat down on the curb of the road hoping to regain his senses. He heard a light 'ding' and looked up to see a lustrous blue box hovering over his head. He couldn't quite make out what it read. He stood up and got a closer look at it.

 **Congratulation! You are now a Gamer and you can receive all the perks that go with it. You have been sent to a new world. You can choose whether to accept your powers or not**.

 **Do you want to continue your Journey Y/N?**

Author's Note: Hey, I am a new writer and I am not very experienced. I hope I can improve at storytelling so I welcome the critiques. In this story I tried to fill in the gaps in Subaru's life. I didn't feel like a guy like him would just become a NEET for giggles. I made some stuff that is probably AU so I hope you don't get very mad. Just so you know this is a Pilot and I will continue the story if I get positive responses. I am not going to let him be too overpowered with his abilities, but I won't let him be as weak as he is in the anime. I will continue to show more of the emotional parts of his life because that is where I think I got the most out of Re:Zero. I am always open to suggestions in the story. So until the next chapter, bye!


End file.
